Get to Know Me
I am a 68 year young European American woman, originally trained as a Respiratory Therapist in the western medical system. I grew up in a trauma laden family, in a culture of competition, comparison, judgment, blame and shame. Greed and "power over" seemed to be the pervading energies at home, in government and commerce.
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I was raised Catholic. Violent communication was the norm, at home, in church and in school; perfectionism, judgment, blame, fear, shame and physical/mental/emotional punishment held me in place. The focus was primarily on what was going wrong; what’s wrong with me, what’s wrong with you, what’s wrong with the world.
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My life became a quest to fix myself, I found a counselor and entered the world of western psychology. I also studied Psychology in undergraduate and post graduate work. In 2011 I quit my masters program, realizing I had to memorize the DSMV-5 to pass my exam. One thing I did know by then was that psychiatric drugs did not heal the root, the cause of my mental/emotional dis-ease.
By then I had studied Reiki Energy Healing for 2 years. I knew there was another way not seen in western medicine, energy work. I left Mount Mary Community Counseling program and enrolled in the Wisdom of Life Coaching School.
One year later I moved from the city of over one million where I grew up and landed in the Driftless Area of Wisconsin. Here in this beautiful place the Spirit of the Earth reached into my heart and turned my world right-side-up. I found myself in a green forest of 150 acres adjacent to the Kickapoo Valley Reserve (3600 acres of Ho Chunk land).
In this sacred place Spirit held me, taught and gave me vision, touched and sang to me, attuned my body and spirit to the Web of Life, all its inhabitants seemed to welcome me with open arms. Gifts of feathers and flowers, medicinals and visitations came from the Land and the Ancestors. I swam in that lovely awakening for almost 2 months, in the spring of 2012.
At first this powerful experience made me wonder if I was going crazy, but a wise and gracious shaman told me this was a journey of a lifetime, and I believed him. He worked with me, helping me to retrieve and integrate pieces of my soul and gratefully he became my teacher. Teachers do show up when you are ready :-)
What I have to share is my path reconnecting to my own soul and the earth in and outside of me. Reconnecting to the rocks, my bones and the air my breath, honoring the water, the Life that flows through me. Fanning the flames of my passion to be everyday more real, more human, more solid and more loving. To reconnect with loving ancestors waiting to share and cheering us on. To listen to the future ones and their wisdom and the gratitude they hold for the work we are now doing to shift the energy within ourSelves, our lineages and our world.
To bask in the knowing that as an Earthling, the Earth is my true Mother and the Sky my true Father, always there and always loving me. When I can breathe into this truth I am no longer alone. I am freed from perfectionism and so many other energies of repression and misunderstanding. My heart connects me to the web of life in ways I couldn't even imagine before.
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From this grounded place, holding myself in non judgment and kindness, I can build a new foundation. I can re-claim my personal power and intend to walk as an eternal Spirit in a human body in balance to my best ability. I can hone and bring my gifts to the world in a way that feels good to me. I can grow into a true adult and elder. I can step into my power and responsibly to be a leader of my own heart, not a people pleaser. I can develop visioning skills for mySelf, my family and my community. I can grow and thrive. I can learn to heal mySelf and in giving that quest priority and attention I heal the world.
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This is not easy work but it has brought me more joy than I have ever experienced. This work/play is essential to every human who wants to stand proud as a loving and wise elder one day. And it is incredibly rewarding to know, to experience, to commune with and be held by a larger brilliantly animated community, this Web of Life. We need allies, humans are communal.
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Let us embark on a journey of empowerment together. We will dance to save our lives, give voice to our souls in song, tell the stories of our lives, truly grieve our losses and take time in the sweet territory of silence together.